as I was conversing with Mr.man,well me being me asked him:
‘Is it too late to go back to how we used to be ?’
cheesy right ? hahaha…
His answer was astonishing,heartbreaking almost but something I was expecting to hear.
‘a lot of things have happened,things change and the world is fucked up…blah …blah..blah”
I took that calmly…remember i told you earlier,i’m extremely calm..i’m a cool operator on most scenarios so I hit him back with a : ‘ it’s soo sad that you view the world that way..I still choose to see the good in people despite everything…Who hurt you? spitting out the later i laughed.
‘the streets.’ he said
yeah … they have no mercy
‘I see they broke your heart into a million pieces,more like crushed it?’
I said lightly.
see,I cared deeply about Mr man,I was soo certain that he was the other missing piece of me,honestly I could imagine myself starting a family with him,having kids and a forever after.
now,the sick or crazy part is this, Mr Man and I never did that thing,we had plans,and decided to wait…and as shit always does,it happened and we broke up.
I’m not trying to justify anything here really, but the bond was extremely strong especially for people who never engaged in intimacy,ya’ll say it doesn’t hurt that much as long as you didn’t sleep with that person and I beg to differ…
Why is the universe still pulling me to him? why does that part in Ruth B’s Dandelion song that says : ‘I’ve heard of a love that comes once in a life time’ hit so hard? why is he dominating my mind?
Part of me thinks it’s because he’s this Man who taught me sex is not everything,and sure enough it’s not
To be completely vulnerable with you,i’m hoping that deep down we still have a chance,cause have you ever wanted a person sooo much and even talked to GOD about it?
In a phase of ‘un certainities’ I’m still certain about him…call me crazy but I’m glad he’s as sweet as ever, in that very short encounter that we had he still ‘Babied’ me like I was still his…Like a true gentleman.
One of my friend thinks… ‘I love him naturally’….well, the other friend thinks ‘i’m still holding on to the past and I should let it go ‘..huh? tough choice
but doesn’t it always comes down to love ?? haha