HIDDEN HEARTBEATS EP 1
Ghosting in romantic relationships is the modern-day equivalent of a Netflix horror movie, which looks like, getting lost in a haunted house, where the love you once shared, full of warmth and hope, suddenly turns into a nightmare, only this time, the ghost is your partner, someone you once loved entirely but who now abandons you, leaving you in the dark. Heartbroken. Their absence echoes in the silence, creating a deep pain in your heart that feels like an endless night filled with shadows that whisper questions you can’t answer. Whether it’s that cute Tinder match who suddenly vanished or the “love of your life” or a close friend who stopped responding to your texts, being ghosted is frustrating and disorienting. If you’re between 18 and 28, you’ve likely experienced this unsettling experience. So, how do you deal with ghosting and move on to find closure? This article is here for you, to guide you through it.
HOW GHOSTING LOOKS LIKE
Imagine this scenario: you’ve been chatting with someone, sparks are flying and you’re starting to imagine all the possibilities of a happy-ever-after. To some extent, you even meet them and date them for months or even years. Then, without warning, poof! They’re gone. No explanation, no goodbye. You’re left staring at your phone like a detective trying to solve a mystery case. Ghosting can hit harder than a surprise plot twist in your favorite Netflix series, leaving you questioning what went wrong and why you didn’t see it coming.
It can mess with your self-esteem, making you feel like you’re not worth a simple explanation. But here’s the thing: ghosting says more about them than it does about you. It’s a reflection of their inability to communicate, not your worth. This realization can be the first step towards healing, as it shifts the blame from yourself to where it truly belongs.
HOW TO MOVE ON AND DETACH
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s perfectly okay to feel hurt, confused or even angry. Your emotions are valid and part of the healing process. Allow yourself to grieve the loss. Whether that means binge-watching your favorite show, or listening to sad songs or going for ice cream it is okay. You can as well write down your thoughts, let your heart go through the detox it needs. This is your moment to feel yourself deeply and honestly.
2. Don’t Take It Personally: Remember, you’re not a defective product returned to the sender. Ghosting often reflects the ghoster’s issues, like their fear of confrontation or emotional immaturity. Don’t let their vanishing act make you question your awesomeness. Their inability to face you says more about their character than your worth. Hold onto that truth and let it bolster your confidence.
3. Stay Busy: Channel your energy into activities that make you feel good. Join that yoga class you’ve been eyeing, volunteer at an animal shelter or dive into a new hobby. Keeping busy is like sunlight to a shadow—it diminishes the power of those ghostly memories. Staying engaged with your passions and interests can help you reclaim your joy and purpose, independent of anyone else’s validation.
4. Reconnect with Friends: Talk to your inner circle about your experience; you’ll be surprised how many have been ghosted too. Shared laughs and advice can be the best exorcism for your ghosting woes. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, reminding you of your worth and your strength.
5. Reflect and Learn: Think of ghosting as a spooky story with a lesson. What did you learn about yourself? Maybe you discovered you deserve better communication in your relationships. Use this experience to set higher standards for how you want to be treated. Every encounter, even the painful ones, can be a stepping stone toward a stronger sense of self and better future relationships.
FINDING CLOSURE
This is how you achieve the “final goodbye” to that partner that ghosted you.
1. Write a Letter: Sometimes, the best way to deal with unfinished business is to confront it head-on. Write a letter to the ghoster, saying everything you wish you could have told them. You don’t have to send it—just getting your feelings out can be liberating. This act of expression can provide a sense of closure, even if the letter remains unread. It’s a way of reclaiming your voice and validating your emotions.
2. Focus on Self-Love: Give yourself the care and attention you deserve. Treat yourself to a spa day, read a good book or take a long walk in nature. Self-love is the best ghostbuster—making you feel whole again. By investing in yourself, you reaffirm your value and create a foundation of inner strength and resilience.
3. Embrace the Future: Don’t let one ghost haunt your future relationships. Believe in the possibility of finding someone who communicates and values you. Ghosting is a chapter, not the whole book of your life. Keep your heart open to new experiences and connections, knowing that each interaction is a step closer to finding someone who truly respects and cherishes you.
4. Seek Professional Help: If you’re feeling stuck, or the pain is too much, talking to a therapist can provide valuable insights and coping strategies. Think of them as your personal helper, helping you move past the haunting experience. Professional guidance can offer new perspectives to navigate your emotions and build healthier relationship patterns.
If You Haven’t Understood Anything From This Article, Understand This… Ghosting is a painful experience, but it doesn’t define you. It’s a reflection of the ghoster’s shortcomings, not your worth. Embrace your feelings, stay busy and reconnect with your friends. Most importantly, learn from the experience and set higher standards for yourself. You deserve open communication and respect in all your relationships. Keep your chin up—your story is far from over and the best chapters are yet to come.