The idea of having/starting a family has been dominating my mind lately and it’s scary because it’s not something I have ever wanted,there are times when I really felt like I’m meant to do life alone.see, I tend to think of myself as a anti-social,reserved and calm…really calm. To tell you the truth i hate talking too much,too many people make me uncomfortable , I think I’m socially awkward…yeah, you could say that.
So here’s the story : I recently met up with my ex { Mr. Man}…He’s a man I cherished, even though my way of showing it wasn’t quite admirable. Part of me hopes and believes i meant to him as he did to me.. I know what you are thinking right there..haha…’that I’m still in love with him?’ and you are right,tell me why for the past 2 years since we fell apart niggas’ always on my mind. Even after dating this cute,sexy guy who was of my age {my guy},I really liked him,the sex was awesome, mind blowing maybe and he Definitely knew how to make me want him but that shit didn’t even last for more than 3 months.
Not that I didn’t want him anymore,hell I did want him but in the heat of the moment I kinda wanted more than the sex you know,the idea of ‘us’ being in a relationship was so appealing to me,sooo hot that at one point… I felt like he was really the one. but Here’s the thing though,often times i found myself comparing ‘my guy’ to ‘mr.man’ and trust you me the difference was immense,vast and i could feel every inch of it
one,’Mr.Man’,was at least 5 years older than me,so mature, learned emotionally stable and straight forward,come on, I’m not trying to portray him as this flawless,cool human but honestly he was nice…really nice…you feel me right ? on the other hand ‘my guy’ was just this simple human,exactly my age,still in school and not quite stable and emotionally tragic..’relax,i’m just pointing out some minor details that I think will help you understand what i’m trying to say here’
as I was conversing with mr.man,well me being me asked him:
‘Is it too late to go back to how we used to be ?’
cheesy right ? hahaha…
(PART 2…)