HIDDEN HEARTBEATS EP 4
You’re staring out the window, watching the rain streak down the glass, and it feels like a metaphor for your life. Everything outside is blurred, just like your dreams seem to be right now. You wonder why the life you envisioned for yourself isn’t unfolding the way you’d hoped. You had plans—dreams, really. They were vivid and colorful, a collection of everything you wanted. But now, they seem to be slipping through your fingers like water.
You remember the person you used to be—the one who believed in perfect futures, in fairy-tale endings. Maybe it was the time you were certain that your high school sweetheart was “the one.” You pictured a life filled with laughter, kids, and a cozy home. But that didn’t happen. Instead, there were arguments, misunderstandings, and a messy breakup that left you feeling like your dreams had been torn apart. You felt betrayed, not just by your ex, but by the future you had imagined.
Now, you’re in a new relationship, and it’s good, but there’s something missing. You can’t shake the feeling that you’re holding back, that you’re not fully embracing what could be because you’re still clinging to what was. You find yourself comparing your current partner to your ex, wishing they could fulfill the promises you once made to yourself. Every disagreement feels like a repeat of past failures, every disagreement a new reminder that you’re still haunted by old ghosts.
You want to move forward, to build a life that’s truly yours. But the only thing standing between you and that life is the ability to grieve. Grieve the past potential—the life that could have been if things had gone differently. It’s time to mourn the fantasy of what you thought your future would look like, the life you thought you’d have by now. You need to let go of the people who chose not to stay, the mistakes you’re still beating yourself up for, and the comfort zone you’ve clung to so desperately.
It’s like you’re holding onto a heavy bag of rocks. Each rock represents a disappointment or a mistake. You keep carrying it, convinced that if you drop it, you’ll lose a part of yourself. But the truth is, you’ll only find freedom if you let it go. Your old life, the one filled with failed dreams and unfulfilled promises, is costing you the chance at a new, beautiful life. You’re so worried about being chosen or approved of that you’re missing out on what’s right in front of you.
The life you want will cost you your old one. And that’s okay. You need to remember that in the process of building this new life, you’ll only ever lose what was meant for a person you no longer are. You’re not the person who stayed in a toxic relationship out of fear. You’re not the person who settled for less because it was comfortable. You’re evolving, growing, and creating a future that aligns with who you’ve become.
Let’s talk about the reality of this transition. You might feel the sting of loss when you realize that your new life means leaving behind familiar comforts and routines. Maybe it’s the way your old friends don’t understand your new path, or how you feel disconnected from the person you used to be. It’s natural to grieve these changes. To acknowledge them. To give yourself permission to feel sad, to miss the old ways, but to also recognize that this is a necessary part of growth.
Think about it this way: You’re renovating a house. You can’t build your dream home without tearing down the old structure. The demolition is messy and painful, but it makes way for something new and beautiful. Similarly, grieving the past allows you to clear the way for the life you want to build.
So, allow yourself to grieve. Cry if you need to. Talk about it. Write about it. Let yourself feel the weight of what you’ve lost, but don’t let it keep you from moving forward. Embrace the changes, welcome the new possibilities, and trust that letting go of the past will make room for the future you deserve.
As you make peace with your past and release the old versions of yourself, you’ll find that you’re stepping into a life that feels more authentic and fulfilling. You’re no longer bound by the expectations or dreams that no longer serve you. Instead, you’re creating a future that reflects who you truly are and what you genuinely want.
You deserve to live a life that’s not dictated by old wounds or unfulfilled fantasies. Grieve what you must, but then take a deep breath and move forward with the knowledge that what lies ahead is worth every bit of effort and courage.
If you haven’t gotten anything from this article, remember this: Your new life will cost you your old one, but it’s a price worth paying. Because in the end, the only person you need to be chosen by is yourself. Allow yourself to experience the pain, Cry, be sad, Grieve, then, let go and move on. You will find yourself and the happiness that you have for so long, denied yourself.